I got a feeling

It’s a year from the valentine’s day
that I wrote a poem,
so it is only right,
to write,
despite the lack of change.

I am in my own world,
repeating the same,
heartbreaking scenes
of my life,
unwanted thoughts,
that continue to live,
sparked by a song,
or a look.

Last Valentine’s day,
and the one before that,
I trusted the eyes,
But at this very moment,
even making eye contact
is incredibly difficult.

I’m not sad,
oh god no
I am not
SAD,

It’s just a day,
a week,
or more like a year
of introspection.

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My favorite part of a flight
is the turbulence.

Quite frankly,
anything that makes
me instantly face the fragility of life,
excites me.

For a rare moment in the
infinity
that is the sky,
we are shaken like a
a cocktail
and placed soberly on the ground.

Reasonable bounds

As I was getting dressed this morning,
I started to hate my clothes.

This mustard sweater
just isn’t enough.

It’s pilled,
worn,
and empty of youth.

These sneakers are too small.
And the edgy rip in my jeans has
frayed into a gaping hole,

I need a new wardrobe,
and new way of life,
one that is simple
or
extravagantly elegant.

January

Summer in Pennsylvania
is so beautiful and rich.

Summer here is more like hell
than anything else.

I miss the japanese tree in front of my old house.
With burnt sienna leaves,
and the perfectly sized trunk.

I know it’s not the same when i go back.
It wasn’t the same when i went back a few years ago,
but there is still beauty left.

A bittersweet beauty,
that looks more like pain.

This year

We’re leaving a whole year behind.

But
This year,

This year I’ll be whole

I’ll sleep into 2016
like the well rounded being
that I strive to be

Starting off the year
drunk and defeated
was for last year.

All of the memories made
and not made will
be put in a file,
and sent to the publisher.

I will clean,
I will get rid of the things that don’t bring me joy,

Caring all of this stuff around can
get tiresome.

For this new year,
I will be
light.