didn’t I

I had to tell my therapist
and everyone that I’ve come across
since you left
that I’m hiding all of your artwork

you wanted me to keep it
probably because you know
that I would take good care of it.
there is one fond, maybe two, fond,
memories that I have of our summer romance
one being the warmth I felt
on a hot rock
with you by the river

then driving home in the rain
while you nodded off

three, getting lost on a mountain
while trying to find the best spot
to watch the fireworks

we resulted to a playground
where you took a picture
of us kissing
I don’t remember it

in this picture the
light from the white firework
is illuminating my hair
the halo of frizz looks red
silhouette shows eyes

your face is barely in it
it’s mostly me, on fire
with a grey sky behind me

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we all

In front of a computer screen
and present in the past
A man passes by
arms overflowing with bottles of wine
I look back at the computer screen

you pass with nothing
I give the same look unintentionally
Of course
i swear
It’s late spring
my dirty car is
scattered umbrellas
In celebration I bought
a packet of wildflower seeds.
Then, I got a haircut.

March

clean the house
use apple cider vinegar and an
old cloth
after, walk through every inch
with palo santo
take the recycling out
feel the last round
of cold winter air
pay close attention to the
feel of the rocks
through the black and white
striped socks
this is a different place
there are mountains in the distance
a dog on a wood floor

transition

triggered
by too many talking people
thought I saw some trauma causing human
from my past as I walked to the salon this morning
It’s rained everyday since I moved here my Florida
there’s a quote that says a sign of
a healed scar is being able to look at the
person with no emotional reaction
my eyes are tense
I’m tired
everyone is wearing earth tones
everyone here is so zen
my eyes look desperate
this is a list
of all of the things
that are cycling
The mountains
The rain
The contrast to what I experienced a week ago