eyes on the window
eyes darting in connecting lines
towards the window
strings
connecting in patterns
connecting
tangling
a loud audible ahh
I walk outside
and see the sunset
pink now and turning
into red in the rear view mirror
clean the house
use apple cider vinegar and an
old cloth
after, walk through every inch
with palo santo
take the recycling out
feel the last round
of cold winter air
pay close attention to the
feel of the rocks
through the black and white
striped socks
this is a different place
there are mountains in the distance
a dog on a wood floor
triggered
by too many talking people
thought I saw some trauma causing human
from my past as I walked to the salon this morning
It’s rained everyday since I moved here my Florida
there’s a quote that says a sign of
a healed scar is being able to look at the
person with no emotional reaction
my eyes are tense
I’m tired
everyone is wearing earth tones
everyone here is so zen
my eyes look desperate
this is a list
of all of the things
that are cycling
The mountains
The rain
The contrast to what I experienced a week ago
tiptoeing down a
spiral staircase
to arrive at the room
where a breathe from
a couple years ago
a memory oh I
remember it was the
smell of a worn in
sweatshirt
home
slightly woodsy
breathe full
of found branches
cranberries
leaning into warmth
a memory
verbally pinching
purposely confusing
manipulating
soft takes
what you do to it
I hope the last impression
of me wasn’t of a
completely unraveled
arms that
don’t feel like mine
a navy dress
I feel myself control water
around him
drowning
he came in through the front
door pouring ballpoint pens upon
the hostess stand
he said he was a hoarder
a few months later
I realized that
he had a
fever and he said yes touch my head
is it hot
now i sit with a heaviness
at the awareness of naivety
connected
glassy blue eyes
and the dark moments
of intuition
sitting in the corner chair
staring at a room of white
and blue paintings that I’ve made
there are plenty of green plants
to contrast
I miss New York and the cold
I would have been feeling
I miss the stovetop that I had to light
with a lighter
there was a smell of
several seasons
of decay and bloom
the cycle
that just isn’t present
in this place
in this chair in the corner
of my room
