gratefully sad

The more shit that happens,
the stronger (softer) I become.

I have to go take this face mask off
and brush my teeth

remember that it is all

every interaction
I had with that person
felt like I was cycling
through all of the emotions

every single one
in the speed of light

thrown into black hole,
and shot out of a cannon,

Lines that are reoccuring
written down


Having fun

2 mugs at the thrift store,
setting a table of hope
in the
cliche way possible,

I’ll buy two
just in case
there is a happy ending
for this strange girl that I know

The handle broke on one them
the most
predictable thing that could happen

what’s cooking?

avoidance dance

We sat across from each other
or maybe I was standing
but ,
were definitely sitting

with the heaviest feet
grounded on the floor
arms on the arm rests
as if to say this is my chair
and I’m not going anywhere

you get up and leave the room
after I look at you

and then the pattern repeats

we haven’t even met yet


Everyone tells you to be confident,
to completely fall in love
with yourself.

But the overly confident person
is not likable.

Someone sure in their every step and movement,
is not relatable.

The self degrading comic
is well received by the audience.

Forget about this poem.
I’ll journal today instead. This poem was going nowhere, fast.
My birthday and the new year are fastly approaching, next day, next week,. What are my goals? I guess to write everyday. To run everyday. And to paint everyday. But I need to turn these goals into a money making goals. It is a fact that I need to make more money if I want to change my current situation. Today, after a long day at work. I will apply to jobs. I will sketch something for the new canvas and I will walk the dogs.

I bet Van Gogh was a good lover

Writers look like writers,
by their pens, glasses, and paper.
Do I look like a writer?
I don’t know, but I need a new journal.

I have been going back in the moleskine
that I got two years ago
and writing and sketching on the pages I already wrote on.
This makes for a confusing
and hard to understand

But if I do buy a new journal, with my nonexistent money,
I want it to be a Moleskine.
Just to keep the tradition going.
It makes the letters on the page
look legitiment and smart

Like I am writing important things, which will later be
discovered, a la Van Gogh.

I have always had such a fascination with Van Gogh.
To be more successful after your death,
is that even success.
He also cut his ear off for a lover,
I’d trust him.