she has wandered

pawning everything I own
and moving to Nevada
tell all my very good
friends that I’m okay
there is a moment
that I picture when
I want to feel happy
not on a certain block
or during the golden hour
it was all magical and green
and the trees were so delicate
I was kinder then
to myself especially
my words were warmer
perhaps I was in love
with that new place


Maybe this thing
that lingers
that repeats
saved me
or will save me from

something in the future
it’s in my stomach
not so much
an awakening
but a ceiling fan

that I have to keep on
to fight the hot
and humid

the round
orange orb
I should allow
it inside

by the look of my face

A tiny blue dot
is waiting to be loved
It appears as a flash
That day
I was deep in mud
at an outdoor concert
in the catskills,
It was the start of summer
waiting for magic
forgetting the tragic
moment of crisis
moment in winter
all of the embarrassing messages
are in my hand
I’m further and further away
and arrive back to the sight
of the token muse
doing a push up with Boyish charm
drinking the rose-colored
and searching for a certain shade
of yellow among
the road flowers

big monster

I woke up
and went to the store
where I saw a man
from behind
he was aloof and gentle
the people from the
not here
he reminded of myself
and everyone brought back to me
I realized mid day
that I had lost a few things along the way
it’s never really over
I remembered to cry
while looking in the mirror
this is how I recognize
an emotion and how
it’s all leading to an opening
on the edge of a
safety pin


rainbow colored
weird fishes
are pointing to the black birds
swaying on the top of the pine
It’s a warm and humid earth
the strength
felt months later
It’s sort of difficult to walk
calmly to the lake and
through the paths
it’s always been
quiet on the outskirts
on the outside
the interior
/ multiplies the worst memories
obscures them
now morphing into
dark blinders
I seem to be incapable
at this time