I’m pulling the emergency brake on this car
it going backwards at a full speed
down the steepest hill
I’m in a space between who I used to be
and who I want to be
finally there
is a balance
I’m wearing the same
lack of color
a few weeks ago I was convinced
that I had murdered a friend
from the past
there was guilt that
I was carrying
grief
I spent an entire day searching
the internet for the way that
she died until
I found the article that states that
she was hit by a car
21 and enthusiastic about her education