mom says don’t talk

I have been violated
manipulated

raped
it’s forgetful
side effects include: loss of memory
the involved remain faceless

the one I do remember
is an owl,
signaling right before dawn
I hear him in my right ear
closer to the back

I went with a good friend to see a psychic
It felt urgent
she was waiting by the beaded curtain
dressed in the same black that I was
wearing
expecting me

I struggled to shuffle the tarot cards
as she told me exactly
what I needed to hear

One memory seems to
remain
tied up in a bondage rope
to only trust the knot
around my wrists

I now walk around with
a decapitated head in my
left hand

a scar
It’s an illness

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