I’ve been up all night baby

I am drinking Leese-Fitch wine
to forget
to remember
what it means
what it meant

to forget my illness
to remember my sickness

to release my ignorance
to remember the love
that I thought existed

to get the kind of drunk
that I used to
the Kind of Rhode Island
College girl drunk
that sparks nostalgia
for the loneliness of the that time

I have grown
and I will heal

I don’t know what I write
I write what i know
I am a paradox
for that does show.

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