This is the day

It is end of January,
and I still feel the same.
Well not quite the same,
but almost like I am stuck on a treadmill.

I don’t have an object to hold
that signifies progress. Progress towards what?
I am not sure.

I went to the coffee shop this morning
partly because I feel awkward with my family members in the house.
I definitely have avoidant personality disorder.
Let’s see what other psychological disorders
I can attach to myself.

I am sitting where I used to sit
when I was insane.
The difference is that I now I have a coffee,
I now buy into the consumerism
and need to feed myself.
When I was insane I didn’t need food,
food of any kind.
I felt full just by being.

But sanity,
sanity in a human is characterized by needing,
and wanting,
and feeding,
and never quite feeling full.

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